The Hunt

When you’re single and looking your options are pretty open because face it everyone on the planet figures you need to be with someone. As a society we have this twisted notion that everyone must be partnered with someone else in order to be happy. This is why every time your mom calls, you hear, “so hunnie, you know I don’t want to be nosy but, have you met anyone?”…………. first off, she’s a MOM so she’s lying when she says she doesn’t want to be nosy. I know this because I’m a mom to adult kids and I’m nosy has hell.

If it’s perceived that you might be taking too long to find that special someone the conversation might change to “hunnie, your dad and I were talking and we want you to know that we support you no matter what." This is their attempt at telling you that they suspect you might be gay. Good on em right? They’re trying to be supportive. But, gay or not this is going to have you rubbing your hand over your face while you reach for another glass of Captain Morgans. Not because you don’t love them but because the last thing you want is to be justifying and explaining your search, or lack of, for a partner.

So since society assumes we can only reach maximum happiness when we’re partnered with that special someone, why is it hard for them to understand that more partners can mean more happiness. No, they assume that if you’re looking for another partner then there must be a flaw with the current relationship. This contributes to making partner hunting as complex as trying to figure out that new math they’re teaching in elementary these days. Have you seen that shit?!? Nothing is direct. It’s brought about in what sometimes seems to be the most ass backwards path imaginable. And, there’s no phone calls from mom “hunnie, we know you’re married but we met the nicest lesbian at the grocery store today. Have you thought about having more relationships?” Nope, not getting that phone call anytime soon.

Add to it that many polyamorous people embrace confidentiality like its the last life boat on the titanic. They’re terrified of bosses, ex’s, family members, etc finding out their dirty little secret……….. they’re able to love more than one person…………… *la gasp*

Since we’ve already established that mom won’t be chatting up your sexual prowess to the local lesbian. You also won’t be standing around the water cooler telling all your coworkers that you need to find another special someone to get your kink on with. So where do we begin the hunt?

Most often we turn to ads. The types of ads are endless but they all offer the same basics; a chance for you to remain a bit anonymous while you search, access to a specific audience and last but not least a chance to filter out the creeps from the maybe’s.

So what does all this mean for this chicka? It means I’m searching for someone using sites like Kijiji and FetLife…………. Two mildly different audiences there. *cough* But the great thing is it means I have the chance to meet a wide range of people. Well that’s the assumption because I haven’t met anyone yet.
The hunt continues.

……………………… but seriously if you bump into that lesbian at the grocery store feel free to send her my way.