Get Real

"Real women have curves"

"Real women are animals in bed and domestic goddesses in the kitchen"

"Real men ruin your lipstick not your mascara"

"Real men are gentlemen in public and a beast between the sheets"

*gag* 

Okay so before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, YES I understand why and how most these quotes have become popular and I DO, despite what my children think, have a sense of humour. The point of this blog though is about 'the message these types of sayings are sending to us and the potential they have to damage our thinking'.

First off what makes someone “real”? 

Well poke em. Did they feel it? If so they’re real. If not, poke em again and again until they do. 

I don’t think anyone who only behaves in a way that fits within a narrow societal expectation is living a genuine life. Ultimately, living a genuine life, is what will bring you to the ‘real’ you. 

Growing up that is how I lived. We were expected to behave within very strict guidelines and any deviation from those guidelines quickly earned us the disapproval of our father. This transitioned me into a young adult who was still looking for her parent’s approval and all my life choices were based on seeking that approval. Was I good person? Hell yes I was. Was I happy? I thought so. 

Years ago, I realized that my life was full of possibilities that could never be explored under their guidelines so I had to make a decision; their approval or my happiness. I’ve never regretted making the change. My marriage is stronger, I love deeper, I enjoy better sex, I love life. 

Now, back to the simplistic quotes about what ‘real’ people should do. Earlier I said they have the potential to damage our thinking. Well most of us spend a disgusting amount of time online and not only do we have the influence of our parents and peers telling us how to live, now we have social media guiding our thinking. As individuals, we have to step back and remember to think critically about what we read and that includes these seemingly harmless quotes. 

So here’s Izzy’s advice to y’all, if you wanna be real then take time to get to know yourself. Explore your likes and dislikes, make new friends, have new conversations, learn about your world, figure out what your values are. This is a journey that should never end and, one day, you’ll look in the mirror and meet the real you.