"Real women have curves"
"Real women are animals in bed and domestic goddesses in the
kitchen"
"Real men ruin your lipstick not your mascara"
"Real men are gentlemen in public and a beast between the
sheets"
*gag*
Okay so before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, YES I
understand why and how most these quotes have become popular and I DO, despite
what my children think, have a sense of humour. The point of this blog though
is about 'the message these types of sayings are sending
to us and the potential they have to damage our thinking'.
First off what makes someone “real”?
Well poke em. Did they
feel it? If so they’re real. If not, poke em again and again until they do.
I don’t think anyone who only behaves in a way that fits
within a narrow societal expectation is living a genuine life. Ultimately,
living a genuine life, is what will bring you to the ‘real’ you.
Growing up that is how I lived. We were expected to behave
within very strict guidelines and any deviation from those guidelines quickly
earned us the disapproval of our father. This transitioned me into a young
adult who was still looking for her parent’s approval and all my life choices
were based on seeking that approval. Was I good person? Hell yes I was. Was I
happy? I thought so.
Years ago, I realized that my life was full of possibilities
that could never be explored under their guidelines so I had to make a
decision; their approval or my happiness. I’ve never regretted making the
change. My marriage is stronger, I love deeper, I enjoy better sex, I love life.
Now, back to the simplistic quotes about what ‘real’ people
should do. Earlier I said they have the potential to damage our thinking. Well
most of us spend a disgusting amount of time online and not only do we have the
influence of our parents and peers telling us how to live, now we have social
media guiding our thinking. As individuals, we have to step back and remember
to think critically about what we read and that includes these seemingly
harmless quotes.
So here’s Izzy’s advice to y’all, if you wanna be real then
take time to get to know yourself. Explore your likes and dislikes, make new
friends, have new conversations, learn about your world, figure out what your
values are. This is a journey that should never end and, one day, you’ll look
in the mirror and meet the real you.
